In today’s episode, I talk to a fellow therapist named Scott. Scott leads groups for men who have a history of sexual abuse. Today, Scott talks about part of what it looked like for him to engage his own story of sexual abuse. In particular, we reflect on the importance of listening to our bodies in the battle to overcome the shame inherent in all sexual abuse. We end by talking about the necessity of coming to bless our bodies rather than curse them.

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Free Resources

How to Write a Story
The Big Six: What Every Child Needs From Their Parents
Attachment: What It Is and Why It Matters

Show Notes

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2:30 The body tells a story contrary to the unrealistic memory of a good childhood.
5:00 A desire for freedom keeps up determination to seek help.
8:30 I must be going crazy.
10:30 Finally someone is saying what my body has been telling me my whole life … and now there’s words for it, now I have a direction to go.
11:30 Relief
16:30 What’s still haunting you?
20:00 Shame dispelled in group work.
22:40 I think there’s just rest, relief. It’s really, really safe now to be in my body.
26:00 Exploring the story at ground level.
31:30 Blessing and cursing the body’s response.
35:10 Blessing and enjoyment.
In some ways my abuser delighted in me more than my parents did.
This was no longer a story about how sick I was.
Unconsciously I made the agreement that I want too much from relationship with others.
We are created in the image of a triune, relational God. Therefore, the desire to connect deeply with other human beings goes to the very core of who we have been created to be.

For help with engaging your story in a group setting, consider the Allender Center’s Certificate Program.

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