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PODCAST EPISODES

How Your Body Can Help Heal Your Trauma

How Your Body Can Help Heal Your Trauma

I’m joined today by Jenny McGrath, a therapist in Seattle who focuses on how trauma is stored in the body and how the body must be engaged in the healing of trauma. Jenny talks about how and why she began to take the body more seriously when it comes to healing....

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Emotions in the Time of Coronavirus: Praying the Psalms

Emotions in the Time of Coronavirus: Praying the Psalms

This is an emotional time. We are all having big feelings. And when we are having big feelings, the place we need to find ourselves is… in the Psalms. Today I hope to open up the power of the book of Psalms for a moment such as this. And by the end of the episode, my...

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When Suffering Lingers

When Suffering Lingers

I am joined today by KJ Ramsey. KJ has written an important book about suffering called This Too Shall Last. Sometimes suffering lasts… and where is God in this? How are we to live when the place we find ourselves is one of lingering suffering? KJ invites us to allow...

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The Coronavirus Episode

The Coronavirus Episode

Three main points. First, the coronavirus is spreading exponentially, not linearly. Second, as a result of the exponential spread—in the absence of aggressive action—the US healthcare system will become overwhelmed and this will affect everyone, including young,...

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Warfare Part 9: Soul Ties

Warfare Part 9: Soul Ties

Season 3 concludes with the final episode on Warfare. I am joined again by Cathy Loerzel to talk about soul ties—what they are and how they are formed. In the previous episode we looked at how curses lead to agreements which lead to vows. Today, we look at how this...

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Warfare Part 8: Curses, Agreements, and Vows

Warfare Part 8: Curses, Agreements, and Vows

I am joined by Cathy Loerzel to talk about curses, agreements, and vows—what they are, how they come to be, and where to find them in our stories. Cathy articulates the difference between a curse, an agreement, and a vow. She also explains how it is the design of evil...

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Healing From Trauma: Your Posture Toward Yourself

Healing From Trauma: Your Posture Toward Yourself

If you have experienced trauma, you likely have difficulty with the whole category of kindness… either receiving kindness from others or being kind to yourself, or likely both. When you are not doing well, what is your posture toward yourself? Are you willing to bring...

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How To Know If You Have Experienced Trauma

How To Know If You Have Experienced Trauma

Many people are unaware that they have a history of trauma. Trauma has a tendency to hide. But the symptoms don’t lie. If you have the symptoms of trauma, it is highly likely that you have a history of trauma—whether you can locate that trauma in your story or not....

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How To Engage The Younger Parts Of Ourselves With Kindness

How To Engage The Younger Parts Of Ourselves With Kindness

Today I interview Paul Quinlivan, a therapist in the Seattle area. We begin by talking about the potential dangers of engaging your story alone. Then, Paul shares a story of himself as a boy… a boy who was a deep feeler. Paul’s story reminds me of a quote from the...

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Warfare Part 7: The Modern Screwtape Letters

Warfare Part 7: The Modern Screwtape Letters

The title of this episode comes from a book by C.S. Lewis called The Screwtape Letters. The Screwtape Letters is a collection of letters written from a senior demon, named Screwtape, to his nephew Wormwood (a lower ranking demon). Screwtape’s goal is to advise...

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Why Family Of Origin Triangulation Is Such A Big Deal

Why Family Of Origin Triangulation Is Such A Big Deal

Triangulation occurs when Mom or Dad becomes emotionally closer to one of the children than to their spouse. Patria and I discuss the fallout of triangulation in the life of the family and the life of the "special" child. The triangulated daughter often becomes...

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How Your Story Leads To Your Style Of Relating To Others

How Your Story Leads To Your Style Of Relating To Others

Becky shares how her relationship with her Mom led to a style of relating in which she became committed to “staying out of the way and becoming invisible.” Becky goes on to talk about the younger parts of ourselves that still long for our mothers and fathers, as well...

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Hearing God in Conversation

Hearing God in Conversation

I interview Sam Williamson, author of Hearing God In Conversation. Conversation is possible… even with God. Sam and I talk about what gets in the way of hearing from God, why we tend to have low expectations about hearing from God, and how to begin to learn to hear in...

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You Need More Than God

You Need More Than God

I’m joined today by my friend and fellow therapist Sam Jolman to talk about the fact that we have been made to need more than God. We have been created to need other people. Deeply. However, our need for others can make us feel weak or “too needy.” How are we to...

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Warfare Part 6: Breaking Agreements

Warfare Part 6: Breaking Agreements

In a previous episode, we looked at how we can make agreements with evil that bind us. Today I talk about how to break those agreements. I also share some thoughts about how to resist evil by addressing evil spirits that may be assaulting you. Jesus has given us the...

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Warfare Part 5: Addressing Accusations

Warfare Part 5: Addressing Accusations

In Warfare Part 5, we look at how to wage war against the kingdom of darkness. Warfare move #1 is to pay attention to your life and question the voices, particularly the voices of accusation that you hear throughout your day. The first tactic in waging war is paying...

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Warfare Part 4: Your Authority

Warfare Part 4: Your Authority

When it comes to resisting the assaults of evil against your heart, the starting place is stepping into the authority that is yours. Jesus Christ has set you up to succeed in warfare with evil. However, it’s essential to get clear about the authority that Jesus has...

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How Stories of Harm Lead to Agreements that Bind Us

How Stories of Harm Lead to Agreements that Bind Us

We are in the middle of a series of episodes on warfare. Last time we talked about making agreements with evil… and how those agreements bind us. Today we are going to take a break from the series to hear Susan’s story. Part of my interview with Susan includes a...

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Warfare Part 3: Agreements

Warfare Part 3: Agreements

We live in a world in which the kingdom of darkness wars against our hearts. It's important to understand the particular strategies that evil uses. Today we look at the second main tactic of evil—namely, to deceive you to make agreements with it. But what are...

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Warfare Part 2: Accusation

Warfare Part 2: Accusation

In Warfare Part 1, we looked at the fact that The Place We Find Ourselves is living in the midst of a world at war. Today, in Part 2, we look at how, specifically, the kingdom of darkness wages war against your heart. What are evil’s goals, strategies, tactics? The...

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Warfare Part 1: The Reality of a War Against Your Heart

Warfare Part 1: The Reality of a War Against Your Heart

You and I live in a world at war. It’s a war between light and darkness, between the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Evil. This is the place we find ourselves. In the episodes to follow we’ll look at how evil operates and how to fight back to win the war for your...

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Love and War: Attachment and Intimate Relationships

Love and War: Attachment and Intimate Relationships

Today’s episode focuses on how attachment styles play out in close relationships. I am joined by Rachel Blackston, who is a therapist in Orlando, Florida. Rachel begins today’s conversation by reading an essay about love and war in her marriage. It’s a beautiful and...

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Engaging the Younger Parts of Your Heart

Engaging the Younger Parts of Your Heart

I am joined today by Scott Gibson who is a therapist in the Chicago area. Scott graciously shares a story about himself as an 11 year old boy. It’s a story about desire, about devastation, and especially about attachment. If you resonate with Scott’s words today, you...

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The Process of Learning to Hear from God

The Process of Learning to Hear from God

For most of my Christian life, I didn’t know it was possible to hear from God. I was taught that God stopped talking after the Bible. I simply didn’t know that God talked to his children on a regular basis. And so I didn’t take time to listen. Not because I didn’t...

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Covert Sexual Abuse: When Subtlety Equates to Severity

Covert Sexual Abuse: When Subtlety Equates to Severity

If your parents did not have a healthy marriage—a deep emotional connection—then it is likely that either you or your sibling has experienced some measure of subtle sexual abuse. Subtle sexual abuse wreaks havoc in your heart… but because of its subtlety, you can live...

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Narcissism

Narcissism

How do you know if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist? What might that relationship feel like? In today’s episode, I talk with Chuck DeGroat about the dynamics of narcissism. Chuck is a seminary professor and a therapist who has a book coming out about what...

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Your Kingdom: The Purpose of Counseling

Your Kingdom: The Purpose of Counseling

Many times clients have said to me, “What is the ultimate purpose of counseling anyway?” Their question is excellent because it grows out of their sense that healing alone is not enough. Deep down, we all intuitively know that we are made for more than healing and...

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How Life Can Come From Death with Christy Bauman

How Life Can Come From Death with Christy Bauman

In today’s episode, Christy Bauman and I talk candidly about the reality of wounds in this life. What does it mean to enter the wounded places in one another’s hearts? And can genuine goodness really come from places of death? Christy is a therapist, a professor, and...

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Trauma and the Enneagram Part 2

Trauma and the Enneagram Part 2

Enneagram expert Beth McCord and I conclude our exploration of “How does your enneagram type influence the way you respond to trauma/abuse/harm?” Today’s episode looks at Types 2 through 7.Type Two – 0:30Type Three – 5:30Type Four – 12:40Type Five – 16:00Type Six –...

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Trauma and the Enneagram Part 1

Trauma and the Enneagram Part 1

Enneagram expert Beth McCord and I begin to explore the question of “How might your Enneagram type influence the way you experience abuse or harm? And how might your Enneagram type influence the way you respond to abuse or harm?” Our conversation begins with a...

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Forgiveness – What It Is

Forgiveness – What It Is

What is our calling with regard to forgiving those who have harmed us? If forgiveness doesn’t require forgetting, what does it require? How do I know if I’ve forgiven someone for harming me? These are some of the questions we explore in today's episode. The Bible’s...

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Forgiveness – What It’s Not

Forgiveness – What It’s Not

Today Robyn and I begin a two part series on forgiveness. As Christians we are called to forgive those who harm us. But what does that actually mean? Next week, I’ll tackle that question, but today Robyn and I talk about what forgiveness is not. In particular, we...

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God Made Our Brain To Need Others

God Made Our Brain To Need Others

In today’s episode I talk with KJ Ramsey about how her suffering has forced her to rely on other people for help. There are times when our suffering puts us on the floor—either literally or metaphorically. Today, KJ talks about the rather remarkable surprises that...

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How Healing Happens Part 3

How Healing Happens Part 3

Often the place we find ourselves is a place of desert, of wilderness, of valley. Indeed these are places of death. And they are real and they are part of the process of healing. But they are not the last word. Today we look at what happens when you linger in death....

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How Healing Happens Part 2

How Healing Happens Part 2

Last week we talked about Cathy Loerzel’s U-diagram and about the importance of engaging particular scenes of heartache and harm in order for healing to begin to take place for you. Today we continue our discussion of what the process of healing requires and what it...

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How Healing Happens Part 1

How Healing Happens Part 1

In this week’s episode, we begin a three part series on the subject of healing. What is necessary for healing to begin to occur? In answering that question, we are going to look at an extremely helpful tool known as the U-diagram. The U-diagram was created and...

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How to Engage a Parent Who Has Harmed You with Autumn

How to Engage a Parent Who Has Harmed You with Autumn

Autumn reads a story that is a beautiful illustration of what it can look like to engage a parent who has done harm. This story is from a very recent time in Autumn’s life when she found herself caring for her sick mother. For all of its redemptive beauty, there is...

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Why the Practice of Awareness Heals Your Brain

Why the Practice of Awareness Heals Your Brain

In the near future, I am going to address how healing happens in the brain. But there is a prerequisite to healing, there is something that you have to be growing in if you are going to experience healing. And that something is awareness. Awareness means choosing to...

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From Shattered to Whole with Laurie

From Shattered to Whole with Laurie

Laurie tells us how and why she began to engage her story at a deeper level. She then shares a story from when she was 12 years old. It’s a story in which her sense of innocence, beauty, and hope were shattered in an instant. We talk about how she responded to the...

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Affect Regulation: Why It’s Critical For Everyday Life

Affect Regulation: Why It’s Critical For Everyday Life

“Affect” refers to your moment by moment experience of your internal bodily sensations. Think of affect on a scale of 1-10, where 1 represents completely numb and shut down and 10 represents panic, rage, or terror. On this scale, 5-6 represents a slight feeling of...

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Why Your Story Makes It Hard To Hope

Why Your Story Makes It Hard To Hope

Hope is flat out agonizing. Hope requires that you groan inwardly while, at the same time, waiting expectantly. The alternatives to hope are a deadening of desire and a growing cynicism about what you can really expect from life in this world. Indeed, most hope is...

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What It Looks Like To Actually Grieve Your Wounds

What It Looks Like To Actually Grieve Your Wounds

In my second conversation with Andrew Bauman, we engage the whole question of “What does it mean to actually grieve?” If you enjoy my conversation with Andrew, you may want to either pickup a copy of his forthcoming book called Stumbling Toward Wholeness or spend 37...

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Why Lament (Surprisingly) Leads to Life and Freedom

Why Lament (Surprisingly) Leads to Life and Freedom

If you take your story and your wounds seriously, then sooner or later you will find yourself disoriented by tragedy and heartache. The invitation at this point is to lament. When was the last time you just poured out your feelings to God—before editing your words,...

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How to Overcome the Shame of Sexual Abuse

How to Overcome the Shame of Sexual Abuse

In today’s episode, I talk to a fellow therapist named Scott. Scott leads groups for men who have a history of sexual abuse. Today, Scott talks about part of what it looked like for him to engage his own story of sexual abuse. In particular, we reflect on the...

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Your Wounds and the Path to Healing

Your Wounds and the Path to Healing

In today’s show we take a deeper look at how our hearts have been wounded and what the path to healing looks like. Guided by Isaiah 61, we see how our wounding is linked to the particular ways that we find ourselves enslaved. I conclude by reflecting on what is...

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Why Trauma Makes It Hard to Trust Your Gut

Why Trauma Makes It Hard to Trust Your Gut

One of the byproducts of trauma is that you lose a sense of being able to trust your body. You begin to distrust your gut knowledge of what is true because the people around you question your reality. In today’s episode, Janet explains how this has played out in her...

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Implicit Memory: The Thing That’s Running Your Life

Implicit Memory: The Thing That’s Running Your Life

When it comes to how and why you react to things the way you do, nothing is more important than implicit memory. Do you ever feel intense emotion that you know is “more than the situation calls for”? Perhaps you think of these experiences as “over-reactions.” These...

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The Trauma of Abandonment

The Trauma of Abandonment

Through counseling with Brent Curtis, Gary came to realize that there were several characters in his life story who had a profound influence on his heart and life. Gary tells a story that happened when he was 10 years old, and he explains how he made a commitment at...

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Why Engaging Your Story Requires Anger at God

Why Engaging Your Story Requires Anger at God

Sometimes, “the place we find ourselves” is a place of anger at God. Many Christians feel ashamed if they find themselves angry at God. But if you engage the heartache and pain of your story, there will inevitably be times where you are angry at God. Have you ever...

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When Your Story Of Sexual Abuse Is Not Believed

When Your Story Of Sexual Abuse Is Not Believed

In today’s episode, I have a very honest and vulnerable conversation with Robyn about sexual abuse. We talk candidly about how our bodies respond with arousal even when there is profound violation occurring. Robyn tells the story of confronting her family about the...

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When Your Femininity Is Assaulted

When Your Femininity Is Assaulted

Born to a family longing for a boy, the war against her femininity began early. Tracy learned that attention with her father could be won by performing well in sports, dressing in boys’ clothings, and wearing her hair short. One day, in an effort to belong with other...

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Attachment: What It Is and Why It Matters So Much

Attachment: What It Is and Why It Matters So Much

The way you attached to your primary caregiver shaped your brain more than anything else. Attachment refers to the manner in which you connect with others. It’s the emotional bond that you develop with the people you are closest to—the people who are there for you and...

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The Trauma of Being Unprotected

The Trauma of Being Unprotected

Gary Wittevrongel began engaging his story in a deep way when he was in his 50’s. In this episode, Gary shares a story of being humiliated by his elementary school teacher with his Mom standing right next to him. It is a story of mockery, but far more a story of being...

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The Trauma of School Shaming

The Trauma of School Shaming

Mandy talks about how and why she began to engage her story. And then she reads aloud a story from her own life. It's a story about being bullied in elementary school... a story that had a major impact on how she began to see herself and relate to those around her....

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